Nine blissful years...

And a hope for many more to come.

** sorry it's a little blurry

The last 9 years have been some of the best of my life. I have had my hardest trials, my lowest moments, and yet I wouldn't trade them for anything because I have had my best friend and lover by my side. I often say that Bret is my EVERYTHING. And that is really the best way to describe it. My best friend, my lover, my equal, my strength, the father of my children, my husband... everything.

I love so much about him that I don't think I could put it all in a blog post. I would need to spend several days to put it all down.

Tonight we kept it simple and went on a date out to dinner. We talked and reminisced. Before going to bed we watched the home videos from our wedding day and reception. OH MY!!! We were so young... at least we looked so young. I was much thinner and didn't look (or feel) as tired. But I am definately much more in love, much wiser, and much more comfortable in my own skin and in my relationships with others.

We came home from our date to find Gpa snuggling with Eliza and cousin, Matthew.

And Gma bathing the older kids.

Our newest family member

We were going to wait at least 6 month to look into getting another family pet, but in PetSmart today (we went for birdseed) we saw the prettiest little kitten. She was the last of her litter and looked so lonely. So, we adopted her into our home. She's a pretty little calico and we decided to call her Jasmine. She seems to be adjusting to our home ok. We've only had her a few hours and has tolerated all the love and attention from the kids.

Jasmine with her new momma

Such a pretty little girl.

OUCH!

On Monday, April 26th I was out at my parents place and I decided to mow the back lawn under my dad's radar. My dad works so hard all day, every day. He does hard, manual type labor... at work and at home. So, I thought I'd help out a little, but to do this you have to sneak it in. He doesn't like being helped. Anyway, half way through the job I realized I needed to raise the wheels to get through some thicker and longer grass. Basically, I set my hand on the exhaust manifold of the lawnmower. You know, that part with the bright yellow sticker with the picture of the hand getting burned? Anyhoo, it didn't hurt too bad at first and a little cold water seemed to help. Fast forward about 90 minutes. The kids and I made it home and the kids are in bed and I'm at the sink with my hand under cold running water and I'm sobbing and crying. This is how Bret found me. Seriously hurt more than anything I have ever felt. I decided I needed medical attention and after discovering most urgent cares ARE NOT 24 hr I headed to the ER. They gave me some good meds and wrapped my hand up.

2nd degree burns on my fingertips and where my fingers bend on the 3 middle fingers. I came home (had to get a ride from Becca) with hard core pain meds and a referral to the burn center up at the UofU hospital. The first day was rough. If I didn't take the meds every 4 hours I was howling in pain. The second day wasn't too bad except that my appointment with the burn unti was that afternoon and I was told they were going to scrub the wounds to get rid of the dead skin and expose the healthy stuff underneath. This scared me to the point of almost having a panic attack. Then we get to tha appointment and they open up the dressing and clean and it doesn't look too bad. I was examined by the main dr and the physical therapist at the burn clinic and they agreed that everything looks great. I CANNOT begin to express in a blog post how relieved I was. I almost wanted to faint from relief. The dr wants to leave the hand open to the air so that the dead skin can begin to dry out and slough off. They sent me home the the paraphenalia to dress any blisters that open up and I have to wear a glove to deal with any germ (ie- housecleaning, diaper changing, and any and all hair services). The physical therapist gave me some exercises so my skin doesn't heal and tighten wrong where my fingers bend.

THANK YOU TO ALL who sent amazing prayers on my behalf and especially to those that helped with the kids during all this. An extra special thanks to Bret. He took the first day off of work to take care of me, the kids, and the house.

The ER didn't HAVE to wrap it this intensely, but they did once they heard I had 4 small children. I started referring to it as my boxing glove.

Freshly cleaned and looking 10 times better than it did the night it happened. The burn unit hadn't seen a burn this fantastic in weeks.

Elise's baptism

Yesterday we had the opportunity to attend our cousin/niece's baptism. It was good for Christopher to see and take in what he might expect for his own baptism day. It was a wonderful experience for everyone involved and we are so proud of Elise for taking this step.

After the baptism Audra had a little birthday party/luncheon at their church and we enjoyed good food and fun games. The kids had fun with a pinata. What ended up being even more fun was the rope hanging the pinata. Kip and some of the older cousins made a jump rope out of it and everyone enjoyed taking turns showing off their jumping skill.

Thank you, Audra, for always throwing great gatherings. You are definately the Martha Stewart of our family.

Elise gets blindfolded to take her turn

Darci takes her turn

The kid after Darci broke it and everyone rushed to get their share

Xander and Christopher with their spoils

Happy Easter (kind of)

Yesterday was Easter Sunday and the LDS semi-annual General Conference. I was really looking forward to making it a nice and spiritual Sunday for my family. And then I woke up at 3am very, VERY sick. When I wasn't closed up in the bathroom I was asleep. I was so disappointed that I couldn't see my children go through their easter baskets or make them a nice breakfast. I didn't get to find teaching moments as they listened to the prophet speak. And I didn't get to fill my spiritual cup from Conference for myself. Thank goodness the talks can all be read next month.

Yesterday DID reaffirm what a wonderful family I have. Bret got the kids fed and let them each pick out an couple of candies. He had them watch a little conference and discussed it with them. The kids all worried over me and came up to see me and give me get well wishes and loves. Bret took some pictures and came up and gave me a priesthood blessing.

Christopher was able to tell me about the prophet and what he spoke about and all the kids were able to come tell me about the true meaning of Easter.

How blessed I am to have this wonderful family and how grateful I am to Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice that will allow me to have them forever !!!

Christopher was so excited to get a "Reeseter Bunny" and the movie "GI Joe".

Xander did not want his picture taken. He had a rough morning, but was very happy with the day at the end of it.

Darci is such a cheeser. She got a new Webkinz and a ball and hardly noticed there wasn't very much candy.

This is Eliza's 2nd Easter, but felt like a first when it came to the basket. She got her 1st Webkinz and a ball and was just happy with the excitement around her.

Other March Stuff...

Our aunt (sister-in-law), Shendi, turned 25.

Our cousin (nephew), Cameron, turned 16.

I turned 32.

Our cousin (niece), Elise, turned 8.

Darci's A1C (important diabetes number) came down to 7.4% from 8.7% (that's really, REALLY good).

Eliza had her 1 year well care check and weighed 17lbs 5oz (under the 5th %tile) and measured 29 inches long (75 %tile). Her pediatrician wants us to offer her more table foods with lots of good fats like PB, avocado, whole milk, and cheese.

The kids had spring pictures taken at Christopher's school and we can't wait to get them and show them off.

*** I promise we try to get more pictures of the boys, they just never hold still long enough.

1 amazing year!

7lbs, 7oz at 34 weeks!!! Maybe it's a good thing I didn't go full term.

She was a little glo-worm for several days.

Today was Eliza's 1st birthday!! How far we've come in 1 year... and how very fast it has flown. A year ago I had been on bedrest for almost 5 weeks. I woke up to contractions that just felt different. I had Bret take me to the IMC labor and delivery yet again (seemed like we were there a couple times a week). I was 5cm dilated and labor wasn't responding to any of the drugs to stop it. It was a cold dreary day. They got me my epidural and I was prepared to have Eliza within an hour... maybe two. She had other ideas. She was sunny side up and stuck against the balloon of my catheter. Finally around 6PM she made her entrance into this world. Much bigger than a 34 weeks preemie should be and almost perfectly healthy. My 7lb, 7oz baby had to go to the NICU for 9 days to adjust from my gestational diabetes and prove she could grow and eat by herself. This year has been full of ups and downs and growth and Eliza is the perfect little caboose for our family.

Oh, I cannot believe my last baby is 1 year old!!!! It is truly bittersweet. She is such a sweetie. She is a little shy and such a mama's girl. She is easily overwhelmed by a large group or loud noises. She loves being in nursery at church while Daddy and Mommy teach. She started crawling around 10 1/2 months and started "cruising" the furniture over the last couple of days. She can make herself heard over her siblings when she wants to, but mostly quietly observes.

Tonight we had a little birthday gathering for her and it was good for my mother's heart to see the love for my baby girl.

Happy Birthday Bret!!!!

Today is Bret's birthday. I'm so grateful that Bret was born. He is my perfect match. I couldn't ask for a better man to be my husband or to be the father of my children. He is so kind and caring. He adores me and thinks I'm beautiful (even after 9 years and 5 children). He loves our children more than life and would do ANYTHING for us. He loves to get on the floor and play with the girls or read a book with Christopher. Today he jumped on the trampoline with Xander and played a "make believe" game with him. At night, as I'm falling asleep, he'll scratch my back while he reads. He makes us laugh and holds me when I cry. He'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders if I let him.

Bret you are my everything!! I'm so happy we found each other and now we have each other and our children for eternity. Happy Birthday!!!

1 Year of Type 1 Diabetes

A year ago today Darci was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I've been assaulted with so many memories of a year ago. Our wonderful endocrinologist, Michael Swinyard, has told us to have a big celebration today to honor her strength and bravery. He said Bret and I should celebrate us, too. Mostly I've been crying, though. I am far from "at peace" with this disease, but I'm getting there a little more everyday.

Darci is so brave and strong and she's my hero. Bret and I call her our "ray of sunshine" and "pure joy". In the last year we have had super high glucose numbers and scary, seizure inducing lows. Recently Darci has learned how to test her own blood. She can't even read the number on the meter, but she can put in the test strip and activate it and then she pokes her own finger and squeezes out the blood and applies it to it. If you've ever had to lancet your own finger then you know how hard it is to push that button. And it FREAKIN' HURTS!!!!!!!!

We filled 9- 2liter bottles and 1 small sharps container in 1 year of diabetes. We've estimated it to be about 2400 syringes. That's a lot of shots!!!

I, again, want to thank Nathan, Audra, Brady, and Elise for being a light in the dark through all of this. This past year would have been utter hell without you. Thank you for all the times you have been willing to babysit Darci for emergencies and dates and everything else under the sun.

Brady and Darci. Two of the strongest people I know.

Through the past year we have grown closer as a couple, as a family, and closer to our Savior as we have turned to him through trial and joy. I know one day I'll be able to look back and be grateful for these challenges that have molded my family to be better people.

For now we'll give Darci the most normal life possible; we'll continue to treat her daily and try our best to keep her numbers stable; and, AS ALWAYS, pray for a cure.

We love you, Orion.

Last night as Bret was getting home from work he heard a cat out on the yard somewhere pitifully crying. After more investigating we discovered it was ours. There were no signs of injury, but his entire back half was dead. I took him to a 24hr vet emergency care and found he had a clot in an important artery. Nothing could be done for him and he was going downhill. So I made the difficult decision to have him euthanized. I held him and cried for a long time before the vet tech did anything. And then I held him and cried some more when they gave the proper injections. He feel asleep peacefully in my arms around 10:45pm last night.

To some it might be silly to cry over a cat. But Orion was a special part of our family. We got him when we first moved into our house in Aug '03. He was a tiny kitten then. He has always done well with each child going through a phase of torturing him. He had a special bond with me through my pregnancies. He would lay protectively over my belly and glare at anyone who got close. He was a constant company during my bedrests. Lately he has had a unique bond with Darci. He liked to climb on her lap and Darci happily gave him all the pets and love he wanted.

His favorite spot when I'm on bedrest

This morning when I told the kids they went through different types of grief. Christopher cried and cried. Xander looked very sad and then brightened a little as he told me that now Orion was in heaven with Heavenly Father and Jesus. Darci didn't quite get it, but keeps telling me that kitty is sick.

Darci and Orion 11/08

Thank you, Orion, for being a special part of our family for over 6 years.